To all of you who are reading this right now... I need to say something that I've been keeping from all of you for the past few days... Everything hasn't been fine... I'd like to believe it was, but it's not. I realized that I have been depressed as of late... I just really feel like crap. There's just so much going on in my head right now and it's all bringing me down... *sigh* If only I could be stronger.


I just feel so lonely up here, so unloved, unwanted, I don't know... I just don't feel like I have made any real friends. I feel like I'm always going out of my way to look out for my friends and in return I get treated like crap and I get picked on and talked about and stuff like that.. Sounds familiar, eh? *sigh* Story of my life... When will this viscous cycle ever end...? I thought I had finally gotten away from it, but I guess not... It just keeps following me where ever I go. Oh well.


I really don't know what to do. I know I shouldn't let it get to me, but still... It's hard, you know? Going through life always feeling like you're by yourself and you'll never truly fit in with people... I just don't really feel like doing much anymore... I almost didn't finish my performance test today because of something that happened at school. I won't go into details because it'll just bother me more than it already is. All I can say is that person was a professional douche bag, and I can't believe he ended up as my partner. I'm so embarrassed, seriously. I was brought to tears in front of my whole class because I was just so damn frustrated. It's ridiculous. People will probably be talking about me for a while, just because that's the way life is to me. I'll be remembered as "that one sailor who cried during his PT in SCC"... Oh well.


Story of my life, right?